Is Faith the motivation for Creating or Creating is part of my belief ?

Eastern religious culture has had a profound influence on my life, gradually creating a deep inner voice in my mind. Over time, I have also started to converse with this voice.

The Inner voice has entered my world since I was five.

Whenever I am lazy or doing something I believe is wise but actually is not, my Mom will always remind me that whatever I do The Inner voice will see from above. In other words, if I don’t listen to my parents’ admonition, The Inner voice will punish me by his way. On the other hand, The Inner voice will forgive people when they make mistakes if they can repent with great sincerity of what they have done.  Since that moment, The Inner voice has become part of my life.

I was born in a country that school education is based on cramming and corporal punishment.  However, I feel fortunate to be brought up under such strict educational condition because it allows me to practice my belief and later on plays a key role in the transformation of my creativity.  As the trait of my personality, I always want to touch upon the subjects that I previously had no chance to learn about in school, such as dissecting corpse, operating machinery and understanding the transmigration of soul.  I yearn to learn those subjects not only because they fulfill my interest but also they allow me to put theory into practice. Obviously, the typical school education becomes my nightmare since I defend myself form those so called normal. 

I’ll kneel down in prayer and hope The Inner voice will save me from every important exam. I always proudly confess to The Inner voice that I never compromise with school work and firmly believe that he gets the message. However, The Inner voice seems too busy to mind my business. Although The Inner voice always ignores my existence and my prayer at the crucial moment, my loyalty to him never lessens.  I believe The Inner voice has his reason behind the steeling of my physical body.    

The Inner voice does hear my prayer!  When everyone has given up on me, The Inner voice leads me to the field of painting by opening up another door. Therefore, painting becomes my method to let out my enthusiasm for corpse, machinery and the transformation of soul.  Whether images conveyed through my paintings are beautiful or ugly, I will always aspire after the visional excitement because feeling admired is the whole new experience to me.   

I had been using drawing as the only means to relieve my inner pressure until I go abroad.